What's... this? A guest post?
Hello! I know most of you come to this blog to read about quilting, and stuff like that, but this time you're in store for something a little different.
My name is Lauren, and I'm Sarah's daughter. I'm fourteen years old, and I know next to nothing about quilting. Not nothing.... I mean, I've lived with a quilter my entire life. But certainly not enough to write a blog post on the subject. So instead, I decided to write about my mom! That's the natural thing to do... right?
So here goes nothing....
14 Relatively Unknown Things About My Mom
1.She's really crazy and funny when she wants you to take cough medicine.
I've had a cold for about two weeks now. It's no fun. The medicine I have to take is absolutely revolting. I hate it . It's nasty stuff. It usually takes me a little while to pshych myself up to drink the stuff. One night, Mom and I were standing in the kitchen while I was trying to take my meds. It was late, it was cold, and mom didn't want to be there much longer. So, in an effort to hurry me along in the process of drinking that horrible liquid, she started to motivate me by saying : " Up and..... BACK! Down the....... HATCH!!!"
2. If she hurts herself, she must show you ... repeatedly.
Not just once or twice, oh no.
Every chance she gets.
Because she wants you to feel bad for her. And of course you do, but after being shown her injury twenty times....
3. She sometimes yells at people when she's driving.
Yes, I realize that lots of people do this.
Mom doesn't say anything bad.
She says things like " Get out of the way B-hole!" then she turns to me,
" That b-hole better get outta the way!"
She actually says " B-hole" . Not butt hole, she'd never say that.
Okay, maybe she would.
4. She's the only mom who stays to watch us at dance.
My sister and I dance quite a bit. I have dance five days a week now. Needless to say, we're at the dance studio a good amount of time. Mom's out there everyday, sitting on the bench, cross stitching in hand, watching us dance. None of the other moms are ever there. They don't watch their kids dance. I mean, sure, they're there sometimes. But no one has yet to come close to spending as much time at the dance studio as mom does.
5. Any story from her childhood is set in third grade.
Okay, so not any story.
But a good chunk of them. So much of them... almost all of them. Her stories usually go a little something like this
Mom:" One time when I was a kid...."
Me: " Was this in third grade?"
Mom: " ......Yes."
6. She is obsessed with Thor.
You know ,Thor.
The mythical Norse god of thunder.
She doesn't just like Thor... she has a Thor doll, a Thor pez dispenser, and lots of other assorted Thor goodies.Of course she does.
7. She's always watching old movies.
Always. It bothered me a bit when I was little... but they've started to grow on me....
8.She HATES shopping of any kind.
Actually, she doesn't hate shopping for yarn or fabric so.....
8A. She HATES shopping ....... unless it's for fabric or yarn.
9.She's absolutely horrible at video games.
This is a big one for my little sister. She's really good at video games.
Mom.... not so much. When she's playing a game, she has a hard time maneuvering both her head and her torso at the same time....
10. She has an irrational disdain for old fashioned police cars.
They make her sick.
11. " Can I get a few of those snacker things.... what are they called?"
This was an actual conversation between my mom and the drive through lady at KFC.
12. She loves Honey Boo Boo.
This is actually fairly new.
For those of you who aren't in the know, Honey Boo Boo is a seven year old pageant girl.
She was in the show " Toddlers and Tiaras" . Apparently, people liked her , because now she has her own spin off show.
Personally, I'm not that interested in the show. Sure, she's a cute and funny kid.... mom on the other hand, says she wants to adopt Honey Boo Boo.
13. She has lots of weird dolls.
Lots of them.
Just the other day, she got a package in the mail . The interchange between her and me went a little something like this :
Me: " What's in this?"
Mom : " It's my blue vampoodle. Did you happen to see the envelope that has my tiny elf baby?"
14. An often used phrase of her's : " I cut your grapes in half!!"
She says this whenever she feels the need to remind us of the kindness she did us by cutting our grapes in half when we were babies.
" I kept you alive!"
Well folks, that's my list.
I had fun, and I hope you did as well.This list could have gone on longer, but I think this will suffice.These are some of my favorite wacky things about my mom. I love my wacky mom.
So in the hopes that she doesn't rebuttle by sharing embarrassing stories from my childhood, I shall bid you all adeu.
Until next time,
Lauren ( AKA Big sis)